


I'll Keep You Safe Till Tomorrow

by EdgyFood87



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: 8x08 killed me, Fuck this show, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I hate Scott Gimple, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-26
Updated: 2017-12-29
Packaged: 2019-02-22 00:31:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13155333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EdgyFood87/pseuds/EdgyFood87
Summary: He should be grateful. He should be happy. In his final moments, he has his friends and his family. That's more than most got anymore. But he doesn't want his friends or his family. He wants Negan.





	1. I'll Pull You Away From Sorrow

**Author's Note:**

> Seriously, fuck this show.
> 
> Negan isn't very "Negan" in this story. I'm sorry, I tried, but I love Carl and every time I tried to write this I died a little more. I couldn't write Negan as himself without it seeming so fucking forced, so he's very serious in this. I guess it fits..?
> 
> Sorry :/
> 
> I also haven't watched 8x08 yet. Everything I know about this episode I know from my stupid friend who spoiled everything and some random clips on YouTube, so I'm sorry if I get some stuff wrong.
> 
> Work and chapter titles from Three Days Grace - "The Real You"

He should be grateful. He should be happy. In his final moments, he has his friends and his family. That's more than most got anymore. But he doesn't want his friends or his family. He wants Negan.

He wants to sink into Negan's arms. He wants to bury his face into Negan's chest. He wants his scent, his voice, his touch, to be the last experience in his life. When darkness, silence, and death finally takes him, he wants to be with Negan. He wants to die in his arms. He subconsciously smiles as he imagines himself with the man, but begins frowning again as he realizes that will never happen. He already had his last encounter with Negan, and it was complete fucking bullshit.

Instead, he has Michonne, his dad, and Siddiq. He loves them, he does, but they aren't who he wants, who he needs, right now. He already wrote letters for them. Said everything that needed to be said. The same couldn't be said for Negan. When he saw the man for the last time, he was surrounded by his men. Carl couldn't run up and embrace Negan, melt into him, like he wanted so desperately to. Instead, he had to stand there and act strong, act like he wasn't about to break down at any second.

When Negan was out of sight, Carl had dropped to his knees and wept, sobbed, even _wailed_. He only stopped when Siddiq came up to him. He gave Carl a questioning look, but didn't say anything.

When he revealed his bite, Rick didn't say anything. He just stared in disbelief, his gaze flickering up and down. His eyes meeting Carl's then traveling back down to his son's side. He kept sparing short glances to his axe, as if he was tempted to cut off Carl's flesh in a stupid and futile attempt to save his boy's life. 

When Michonne saw the bite, she gasped and fell to the ground, also not speaking a word.

"I..." Carl croaks, "I want Negan."

"N-Negan?" Rick says slowly, as if he's unsure if he's hearing his son correctly. When Carl nods, Rick looks down before standing up and leaving the tunnel. Carl can't tell if he hurt his father or angered him."I'm sorry," he says in a voice so small he himself can't hear it.

"Dad?" Carl cries. "What're you- Come back! What're you doing?" _If I can't have Negan, can I at least have you?_ Carl tries to stand up, shivering violently. He pushes Michonne's hands away when they reach out to steady him. He takes a step forward, but collapses. Michonne's soft arms break his fall. As he lays on the cold dirt, defeated, two figures enter the tunnel and crouch next to him. One is his dad and the other...

"Negan?" Carl whispers, both confused and excited. Is he actually here? How did Dad find him? Or is Carl's mind just playing a cruel trick on him? He reaches out to touch the man, letting out an audible sigh of relief when their hands connect. It's really him. He's here.

"I'm going to take care of you," Negan mumbles. He leans down and wraps his strong arms around Carl's limp body. He lifts the boy up and carries him out of the tunnel. He grunts in confusion when Negan and his dad work together to get him on top of the wall. Rick even helps to settle Carl into Negan's lap.

"Do you want me to go?" Rick asks Carl. Carl nods and Rick lowers his gaze, his eyes beginning to glisten with trapped tears. 

"I love you, dad," Carl mumbles. "I love you and I love Michonne and Judith and Daryl and everyone else. Please don't ever think otherwise." Carl reaches into his pocket and pulls out a thick wad of paper, Letters for anyone and everyone he cared enough for to write to. Judith, Dad, Michonne, Daryl, Enid, Maggie, Carol, and one that says "Negan" on it. He never got the chance to start that one.

Rick takes the papers and looks up at Carl. "I love you," he says, not able to quell the sob that escapes his lips. Carl extends his arms and Rick leans into them. Carl weakly wraps his arms around his father as Rick does the same to his son and they both stay for a moment, relishing in each other's company. When they finally pull apart, Rick presses one final kiss to Carl's sweat-soaked temple and turns to leave. Before climbing down the ladder, he meets Carl's eye. He smiles and Carl smiles back. That's the last time he would ever see his father again.

With his head swimming, Carl barely notices a soft hand stroking his hair. He nearly yelps when he finally becomes aware of it. He jumps but relaxes when a voice speaks. "It's just me."

Carl twists his head up to meet Negan's chocolate brown eyes.


	2. I'll Keep You Safe for One More Night

When brown meets blue, Carl tries to smile, but his lips don't curl up the way they're supposed to, the way he wants them to. He's happy to be with Negan in his final moments, but he knows this is it. He'll never get further with the man before he leaves this world and descends into the next.

He'll never spend a night in Negan's bed, never wake up in his arms. Never. This is it. 

"How did my dad find you so fast?" Carl asks.

"I hadn't left yet. With Alexandria in flames and shit, I was going to try and salvage some supplies." Negan sighs and shifts his legs. " _And I wanted to see you again._ " 

The last words were spoken so silently, Carl wonders if he had just imagined them. A few moments pass before either speaks.

"You know, you're still a little serial killer," Negan says the words so quietly Carl can barely hear them.

"You're still an asshole." Carl whispers with a sly chuckle. He expects Negan to be Negan and say something stupid, but he doesn't.

He just says "Yeah. There's some things you can't change." His voice is soft and small, and Carl begins to realize that the man might actually care for him. Maybe this love wasn't requited after all.

"I'll miss you," Carl chokes, taking a handful of Negan's shirt in his fist and pulling himself in closer.

"You, too." As Carl tries to choke back his own tears, he barely notices a light drop on his shoulder. _Holy shit._ Negan's crying. He cares. In that moment, Carl lets go and tears of his own begin to fall, mingling with Negan's. The man pulls him closer once he realizes the kid in his arms is sobbing silently.

"It's okay," he whispers into the boy's ear. "I'll keep you safe." He wraps his strong arms around Carl's torso and begins to rock him. Carl responds by turning his head and burying it into Negan's chest. Negan raises an arm to stroke Carl's hair. Carl ignores Negan's comforting whispers, promising him everything's going to be alright.

He just focuses on that fact that Negan's chest is quivering and gasps are escaping his mouth. Negan doesn't want to lose Carl just as Carl doesn't want to lose Negan.

Carl wants more than anything to tell Negan how he feels. He wills himself to just let the three simple words out, but he's afraid. He's afraid that Negan will be repulsed, throw Carl off of him and leave. Leave him to die alone. He silently curses himself. He could die at any moment and he's afraid of rejection. _Stop being such a pussy._

So instead of saying something, he says nothing. Negan doesn't speak, either. He just continues to stroke Carl's hair in the quiet of the night with tears streaming down his cheeks.

They sit for a while and eventually Carl closes his eye and takes everything in. Negan's scent, his touch, everything, and his heart swells. Everything, every little aspect about the man clutching onto him is perfect. He lets out a sigh of content but still doesn't speak. They sit together, still in silence, for only a few minutes more. It's Negan who first speaks.

"Look at that," a deep, rumbling voice says, breaking the silence. Carl opens his eye. Following Negan's gaze, he looks out at the sunrise, appreciating the small things. The colors blending together, staining the clouds a variety of bright, warm colors. The sun creeping up slowly behind the trees. "You made it. One more night."

He looks up at the man holding him. Using the last of his strength, he leans up and locks lips with the man holding him before falling back down. Then the words come out. "I love you, Negan," he croaks, voice hoarse, throat sore. He gives Negan one last smile before his mind retreats from the living world.

He was already gone by the time the man could respond. "Love you, too, baby boy."


End file.
